How do you get over being hurt? As a pastor I have come across so many people that have been hurt. Some have been hurt by loved ones, some by relationship, and other by different things during their lives. As a minister the hardest of these to reach are those that have been hurt by what I call “friendly fire”. Hurt by others in the church. I mean it is expected that we get hurt by people in the outside world, but what do we do when we have been hurt by those that we trusted, in a place where we thought we were safe. Now let me say that not everyone that says they have been hurt in the church really has a real beef. Some were just told the truth and rather than allowing the truth to set them free they chose to walk away and call it hurt. But there are times when people are really hurt by people in the church. Many times it is through ignorance that people hurt one another, and not out of malice or purpose. But how do you get over that hurt? As a Christian how do you stay on track when you have been hurt by those around you? Here are some ways I believe that you can accomplish this:
1. Remember who you are Serving
Many times when we have been hurt we forget the reason that we are in the church to begin with. We forget that we were saved not by the church or those in the church, but by Jesus Christ and it is Him alone that we are serving. Though we as Christian should want to get along with other in the church we have to realize in the end that it is Christ that we are serving not men. If we are doing the will of God then the opinion of men should not sway us. It is not the vehicle that we ride in but the journey that matter the most.
2. We Need to Remember they are Only Human
So many times people come into the church and they get their eyes on people. The problem is that in the end they are just people. People are imperfect, they make mistakes and yes sometimes they sin. There are times when they say things they should not have said, or they get angry and do something they should not do. Just because they are Christians doesn’t mean that they are perfect, and just because they are a church member doesn’t mean they are a Christian. You can not look at people so much that you get your eyes off the master. He is the only one that matters.
3. Learn to Forgive Quickly
One of the problems that we all have is that we allow ourselves to stay offended and the next thing you know we have bitterness growing inside of us. You have to learn to forgive and do it quickly and not allow it to stay down inside of you. Bitter is like you drinking poison hoping that the other guy dies. You have to forgive. And if you are going to forgive then forgive and move on.
4. Forgiveness and Trust are not the Same thing
Forgiveness is granted and can not be earned. Trust is earned and can not be granted. Jesus never said that we had to trust the person again. The truth is we may never be able to trust them but it doesn’t mean that we can forgive. Though that person may never earn our trust we do not have to leave God over it.
The truth is that if we live in the life we are going to be hurt by other people. Sometimes it is going to be the people we love the most, but it is going to happen. But it is how we move past that hurt and how we use it to build us up that makes us a Christian. James said let us “take joy in tribulation” because it builds us up. We have to learn how to overcome hurt and move past it.